Like most people my age, I love Instagram. It’s easy to discover new things, especially when it comes to looking for talented creatives. But occasionally rather than be inspired by the phenomenal talent I come across, I often find myself defeated. I’ll never be as good as them… why even bother trying?
I kind of have a self-defeating streak, especially when it comes to art. Growing up I nurtured my creative side until high school. I found myself surrounded by art-school-bound individuals who were almost prodigies. A five-minute doodle of theirs would get better grades than something I spent hours perfecting. Slowly, my confidence was chipped away, until I gave up my own art school dreams. But no matter how hard I tried to run, art continued to follow me. Now that I’ve graduated from college, art finally caught up with me. Occasionally I pick up my sketchbook or paints to let off a little steam. While it feels refreshing to express myself, there still exists the fear that I’m not good enough. I find the disapproval of my teachers and classmates is now coming from me. The constant internal strife is exhausting. It takes a lot of reminding that my art isn’t for anyone’s approval. My art does not have to be as good as anyone else’s.
I’m dedicating myself to do what I enjoy, try new things, be inspired without being intimidated, and silence my inner critic. Hopefully y’all will come along for the ride.