Expectation Frustration

It’s easy to create an alternate reality in your head. Like, imagining that a certain event will go a certain way so much that you begin to expect that the fantasy. Deviation from the fantasy can cause frustration or, in some cases, disappointment.

It happens to me all the time. It happens to me with this website. As hard as I try to remind myself that this project is a personal one, there are times when my imagination runs wild. I imagine having this as my full-time job, so I don’t have to worry about the soul-crush of the corporate world. I dream about ambitious craft project brought to fruition by a well-practiced talent. This alternate reality seems beautiful and harmless, but there are some unintended side effects.

Focusing on a dream scenario can be distracting- I’ve only been embroidering for 3 months and I can’t skip to having years of experience just because I imagine it. Furthermore, it shrouds current situations in a negative light. I have a great job, but a cubicle farm can’t compare to being my own boss. The deeper I dive into the thoughts, the more jaded I begin to feel about my reality.

I’m not trying to tell you to stop dreaming. That’s stupid. Setting goals, even far flung ones, can be a great motivator. The issues start when dreams and expectations become entangled. Maybe one day I will be able to practice art full time. Maybe one day I’ll have a big internet following. But for now, I don’t. And that’s okay. I’m going to keep working and bettering myself for me.